Alone With So Many People
by cwerner
Summary: Meredith and Derek haven't been dating for about 3 months. They both hate it, and are trying their best to function without each other. But will a baby and a marriage change things? Maybe?
1. Chapter 1

Alone With So Many People

BeepBeepBeep

"Uh," says Meredith as she slaps off the ringer on her alarm clock.

"Izzie I'm gonna kill you!" Meredith shouts as she sits up angrily in the bed

Moments later Izzie comes prancing through the door, decked head to toe in running gear, but with several layers over that, seeing as it is only about 10 degrees in Seattle.

"Come on Mer! Let's take a run! Carpe Diem, SEIZE THE DAY!" chants Izzie.

"Carpe Diem my ass," says Meredith. "The only thing I want to seize right now is a couple of hours more sleep."

"Meredith it's beautiful out! You need to get out of this room and get some fresh air!"

Meredith lazily gets out of bed, goes into the bathroom and comes out with a can of air freshener. She proceeds to spray it around the room.

"There, now I have fresh air, ya happy!" she asks sarcastically.

"You know Meredith ever since Derek went back to Addison, you've been acting like a bum. I mean come on, what has it been now like three months?" asks Izzie.

"Yeah well ever since you got back together with Alex, you've been a little to happy-go-lucky if you know what I mean!" Meredith shouts back.

"Yeah well at least when we were broken up I didn't sit around a sulk all day!" says Izzie.

"You were to dam busy making our fricken house look like Whoville!" accuses Meredith.

"Whatever. Do you want to go running or not?"

"Does it appear to you that I might want to go for a run?" Meredith inquires.

"No," says Izzie.

"Well then there's your answer!"

"Fine. I'll see you later. If the hospital pages us, just call me on my cell ok?"

"Yeah," Meredith says more nicely, "I will".

When Izzie shuts the door, Meredith gets back into bed. Why would she ask me if I want to go running, she wonders. This is my first Saturday off in three months and I'm going to spend it however dam well I please. But she knows that staying in bed all day is not really even an option. For Meredith, other than during surgery, lying in bed is the best place to think, and right now, there is so much stuff she doesn't want to be thinking about!

She rolls out of bed and puts on the torn blue jeans laying next to her dresser, and then grabs the tee of the nightstand that says, 'I'm a doctor, trust me'. She then puts on the gray old sweatshirt that used to belong to her mother reading SGST. (Seattle Grace Surgical Team) She notices that it's disturbingly quiet; she doesn't hear George at all. She can't even make out the light pitter-patter of Roscowell's feet. They had just gotten the dog a few weeks ago. She hoped they hadn't lost him already.

"George!" she calls. No answer came.

"Roscowell! Here boy!" Nothing made a sound, the house was completely silent.

"Great," she sighs, "I lost George."

Why am I making jokes, she asks herself. This is really not an appropriate time. When she arrives in the kitchen, she immediately heads over to the refrigerator to look on the whiteboard and see if there is a message from George. Every time one of them goes somewhere, they must write on the whiteboard where they are going, so that no one gets worried if they don't return soon, and as to avoid confusion. All that she saw was WENT JOGGING – IZZIE, scribbled across the top of the board.

"Where is he?" she asks herself out loud.

Just then Meredith hears a loud BOOM outside the window, and then hears a hysterical laugh. She glances over the windowsill to see George doubled over on the ground, clutching his stomach from laughing so hard. Meredith bangs on the window and gives him a 'what the hell are you doing' look. But George just continues laughing. By the time Meredith reaches the sliding glass door and steps out onto the freezing cold porch, currently with about a foot of snow on it, George had stood up and was pointing and chuckling at Roscowell.

"What on earth is so funny," Meredith asks with a bemused look on her face.

"The dog… he just…" George panted. "And the wall…" he then started to have another laughing attack.

Meredith finally catching on says to the dog, "Oh you poor baby! Did you run into the side of the house?" Roscowell runs up to her and tries to kiss her, but Meredith turns her head thinking that she doesn't want to smell like doggy drool all day long.

"George, why are you laughing at this poor innocent puppy? Is uncle George being mean to you?" she asks the dog. Roscowell just simply wags his tail and turns to the door. He's had enough playing outside. They all go inside and George takes off his wet coat and throws it by heater.

"Hey Mer, I made you some pancakes this morning. Not that I was planning on making you any or anything, I just had some extra batter," he stumbles over his words.

"Thanks George, but I'm not really hungry."

"Yeah that's what I thought," George mumbles to himself. "So what are _you_ planning on doing today?" George asks with great emphasis on the word you.

"I don't know," say Meredith. "Maybe I'll just go to the mall. Get a little Christmas shopping done."

"Oh well that's cool," says George.

"Yeah," Meredith says with a long awkward pause. "Ok so I'm gonna go now."

"Wait you have to write on the board where you're going."

"Come on George! I just told you!" she exclaims.

"Yeah well I might leave, and if Izzie comes home, and she doesn't know where you're at, she'll freak!" he adds.

"Fine," Meredith says reluctantly. She goes over to the board and writes MALL – MEREDITH. "Ok see you later," she calls after grabbing her purse and throwing on her jacket and scarf.

"Bye," George says in a somewhat sad tone.

Upon arriving at the mall, Meredith goes into her three favorite stores, New York and Company, Abercrombie and Fitch, and believe it or not, Victoria Secret. While standing in line at VS she thinks that she can vaguely hear her name being called, but she's not sure. A few seconds later she hears it again.

"Dr. Grey! Hello!"

"Oh," Meredith says with much distaste. "Hello Dr. Shepherd." Of all the luck. She just has to run into Addison on today of all days. This is her first Addison-free day in 3 months and now, it's now Addison-free!

"Wow Dr. Grey, that's quite a lot of bags you're carrying. You must be almost done with your Christmas shopping."

"Well no," says Meredith, "seeing as almost everything in these bags is for me."

"Oh well you have to splurge on yourself ever once in a while right?" she asks.

"Yep," replies Meredith. God her voice is like nails on a chalk board!

"Speaking of Christmas shopping," Addison begins, " For the Secret Santa at work, I drew Izzie's name, and since she isn't speaking to me, I don't have the slightest idea of what to get her. Then again it probably doesn't even matter since she'll most likely just throw it in the garbage. Anyway, do you have any idea of what she might want?"

"Um no not really. But I know that she really likes lotions and perfumes and such. So maybe something like that," Meredith suggests.

"Ok thanks, that really helps," says Addison.

"No problem," Meredith remarks dryly.

"Hmm, I wonder who got my name," says Addison out loud.

Thank god it's not me, Meredith thinks. She was lucky enough to pull Cristina's name out of the jar, and she knew exactly what Cristina wanted for Christmas. Plus Meredith doesn't hate her guts, so she's much easier to shop for.

"Excuse me miss, are you ready to pay," asks the waiting cashier.

"Oh yes sorry," replies Meredith.

"Hey Addison!" Derek calls.

Oh-my-god is all that Meredith can think. Why does Derek have to show up when I'm buying lingerie! I don't want him to see this! Or me! She quickly shifts so that her body is covering the items she's buying, and so you can also not see her face.

"Hey honey, I'm right over here," Addison calls out.

"Geez Addy you can't do that!" Derek complains. "I turn my back for a second and then you're gone! I've been looking for you for the past 5 minutes!"

"Oh well sorry," says Addison. "But I saw Meredith over here and thought I'd come and say hello."

"Oh hello Meredith," Derek says now realizing her for the first time.

"Hi Derek," Meredith says with a very forced smile on her face.

"So you're Christmas shopping as well?" he asks politely.

"Yep," she says quickly. "I thought you know with this being my first day off in so long that I'd get some shopping done. I've fallen quite far behind seeing as Christmas is in 2 weeks."

"Well that was our idea too," Derek says while plainly staring straight at Meredith and never taking his gaze away from her for even a second. Addison was about to say something to break the silence, and the glances she saw her husband and his ex-girlfriend giving each other, when simultaneously all of their pages went off. Derek was the first to grab his.

"911," he said. "Looks like our day of shopping has come to an end."

"Looks like it," says Meredith.

"Hey do you need a ride?" Derek asks Meredith. "I mean I'm sure you have your car here but if you just drove with us we could get you there faster. Maybe save a life or two."

"Ah, sure," says Meredith. They exit the mall, get into Derek's jeep and head towards the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

The O.R. Truth

"Oh my god, what happened," Derek asked as he surveyed the chaotic scene around him in the E.R.

"Twenty car pile up on I-94," Dr. Burke says sadly as he hustles about trying to help everyone in sight.

"Ok Karev, you take Mr. Freeland right over there. He's got a concussion, possibly even brain damage. Get an MRI and a cat scan. Report back to me when we get results," Bailey tells Alex somewhat impatiently. "O'Malley, you're with Betty Shiling, that's the lady with the blue blouse on. She was smashed into the windshield, has some cuts and bruises. See what you can do for her. Maybe prescribe some pain medication."

"Ok, says George reluctantly. "Why do I always get stuck with the easy cases?" he comments as he walk by Izzie. She just shrugs and looks at Bailey.

"Stevens, Dr. Shepard has requested you for help with the case of at 19 year old pregnant female. She says for you to meet her in room B92 immediately. Go now," Bailey comments.

"I'm on my way," says Izzie as she heads off to the 2nd floor.

"Grey, you'll stay here and assist anyone in the ER that you can. If it's minor, give them some pain medication, and send them on their way. We need as much room as possible. This place is way to crowded to get anything done right now," Bailey says while motioning for Derek to come over where they are standing. "Dr. Shepard, Dr. Grey is covering the ER right now, so when things have settled down and she can leave, do you have a surgery that she can scrub in on?"

"Um yeah," says Derek, while staring around the room. "It looks like there'll be plenty of surgeries today. Just come find me whenever you're ready," he says to Meredith.

"Ok, I will. Thanks," she says kind of shyly.

"Dr. Yang, you'll be scrubbing in with Dr. Burke on a brain surgery for a 57 year old male. Go now", says Bailey.

"Right away," Cristina says, happy that she gets to work with her boyfriend.

Meredith looks around the ER and just sighs. There are at least 100 people, over half of them bleeding, crying, or complaining loudly about the lack of care that they are currently receiving.

"This is going to be one long day," say Meredith wearily. It just figures that her day off wouldn't really end up being a day off. I mean she's a surgeon. Surgeons are on call 24/7, right? She's really rethinking her choice of career right now. She walks over to a woman, maybe 30 years of age, who is holding her arm and sobbing hysterically.

"Miss could you tell me where it hurts? If I can figure out what's wrong with you, I'm sure I could fix it right up," Meredith says to the woman.

"It's my arm!" the woman says loudly. She removes her coat, to show Meredith the bone sticking out of her arm.

"Ok," says Meredith with a look of disgust. "It's a broken arm obviously. I'll just take you over here and get it cleaned up and have a splint put on. You'll need to go to your doctor's tomorrow though and get a cast put on it."

"Ok," says the woman, starting to calm down.

Meredith bandages up the lady's arm, gives her some pain medication, and sends her home. "One down, 99 to go," Meredith mumbles to herself as she goes to help the next person.

Three hours later, the ER is much quieter. There's only about 10 people remaining now, and they don't have anything to do with the car pile up, just other various accidents and mistakes. She grabs a cup of coffee and is on her way upstairs to see if she can find Derek, when she runs into him while turning the corner.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Meredith says, after she realizes that she spilt some of the coffee on Derek.

"No problem," Derek says while brushing off his scrubs. "I was in your way, and not really paying attention to where I was walking."

"Yeah me either," says Meredith kind of starting to get jumpy. "So, you have any surgeries left for me to get in on?"

"Actually I do," says Derek while smiling sweetly at her. "There was just a man brought in about an hour ago who's waiting for a liver transplant. You can scrub in if you want to."

"That sounds good," says Meredith. They head off towards the OR and go into the prep room. As they start washing their hands, Derek turns to Meredith and speaks.

"Meredith, I hope you know that I didn't just forget about us. Just because I went back to Addison doesn't mean that I wanted to throw away everything that you and I had," he adds quietly.

"Oh. Ok," Meredith says, totally taken back by the comment just coming out of nowhere. "I'm glad you didn't forget about us. I thought that what we had was special. I have to admit that I was shocked when you picked her, because I thought you loved me," she says with tears in her eyes.

"I did love you Meredith," he says sadly. "Maybe I still do. I don't know. I'm just so confused right now. The only thing I do know is that I have to try and make this marriage work with Addison. If I didn't try, I'd regret it for the rest of my life."

"I understand," she says. "I'm glad that you're trying. It just shows how good of a person you are. I just hope that we can at least be friends. I miss talking to you."

"Yeah, I'd like that too," he says. "Ok, well I think this man has waited long enough for a new liver, so…"

"Oh yeah," Meredith says, completely forgetting the real reason they're even here. That seems to happen quite often when she's around Derek. They enter the OR and Derek begins the surgery. They wait in quiet for about 2 hours, with Derek asking Meredith medical questions every so often, about the procedure. Meredith enjoys these surgeries because not only does she get to be with Derek, but she also learns a lot from him, and he's a great teacher.

"Ok looks like we're done here," he comments looking up at Meredith. He instructs the nurses, and other staff members what to do then walks out of the OR with Meredith in tow.

"That was a good surgery," Meredith says kind of nonchalantly.

"Yes, very successful. Now we just have to pray that the liver works out for the poor guy."

Meredith doesn't answer him, just continues washing her hands and surveying the happenings in the OR. Meredith turns and looks at Derek, and he looks at her. She opens her mouth, about to say something, but nothing comes out. The next thing she knows, her and Derek are embraced in a passionate kiss, which came out of nowhere. She has absolutely no clue what's happening, but goes along with it since this is what she's been longing for, for over three months. He gently bites her lower lip, asking for permission to let his tongue enter her mouth. She immediately agrees and opens her mouth wider. The kiss gets just to its peak, and Derek pulls away.

"I am SO sorry Meredith," he mumbles. "That was NOT supposed to happen. I just…" he drifts off.

"Oh, no… it's ok, really. You're right, it shouldn't have happened," she says already on the verge of tears.

"Look Mer, please just pretend this never happened," he pleads with her.

"Yeah, nothing at all," Meredith says quietly.

"Thanks. I've got to go. I'll talk to you later," he says reluctantly as he brushes past her.

When Derek leaves, and his shoulder brushes her shoulder, it's almost too much for Meredith to take. She tries her best to stop the tears, but they flow out of her like a dam. She hates him for making her feel this way. She exits the OR, and goes to the locker room. She gets changed out of her scrubs, and gets back into her clothes. As she's about to leave, she remembers that she came here with Derek and Addison, and that she needs to go get her jeep that's still at the mall. She runs into Addison and asks her if she could get all of her bags out of the car.

When she finds George, she asks him to take her to pick up her jeep. They head toward the mall with George being the only one willing to participate in any conversation.

"Are you okay Meredith?" he asks her.

"No," she says plain and simply.

"Well is there anything I can do for you?" George asks.

"I don't think so," she says, "unless you know how to repair a broken heart."

George leaves her there reluctantly after he's sure that she's in her car and safe. When she gets home, she goes straight to her room and buries her head in her pillow so that no one will be able to hear her crying.


End file.
